13 years ago I showed up to my wife’s house only to find her rolling out from under her car. Turns out her car needed an oil change and she was the man, errr woman, for the job. Since then I’ve seen her outshoot men, beat them in marathons, and teach our daughters that they can do whatever they put their mind to. I don’t know that I equate my wife with a feminist, and perhaps that is a misogynistic error on my part, but in many ways she totally is. After all, not many women decide to go get a nursing degree when they’re 33 and have three kids at home. So what does this have to do with gear, the outdoors or anything that might be of interest to you? Keep reading, I’ll get there.
As a father I’ve noticed that females like the Kardashians, Miley Cyrus, and the Wives of Beverly Hills tend to garner a fair amount of attention. Attention that I consider to be unwarranted and based on no real accomplishment. So, in a world where a nearly nude Kim Kardashian makes the news and headlines around the internet, how can I ensure that my daughters have enough self-respect, self-confidence, and self-esteem to follow their aspirations, which are more than like, follows, and retweets? As an outdoorsman I’ve noticed that increasingly there is a propensity to see women in the field, women specific gear at the store, women with massive trout, women paddling drift boats, and camo adorned women on social media. This month’s Field and Stream, who usually has male enhancement ads for its nearly all male readership, even pays tribute “gamechangers” as they call them. More aptly their cover story is focused on “11 outdoorswomen who are transforming the face of hunting and fishing”. As I read the magazine it dawned on me that my concerns for my daughters and their self-images have answers that are found in the outdoors.
My 10 year old daughter loves art. She draws very well, colors and doodles on nearly every piece of paper in the house, and frequently is making something out of yarn, fabric, paper, or any number of other consumables. She also is timid. I’ve been working with her over the years to build a core self-esteem, and one of the founding principles of that is she can do anything she puts her mind to. By anything I mean she can shoot a gun, she can cast a fly, beat her male classmates at one on one, and can discover new things under a microscope. See, as a conservationist, environmental scientist, has been athlete, and outdoorsman my offerings as a father are mainly based on those areas of “expertise”. Teaching those things to my son is second nature, and accepted by society as normal. After all, a boy spitting, carrying a knife, and talking about shooting a quail is generally accepted, even in the city slicker haven in which we currently live. Having a daughter who wears baseball hats, carries a fishing rod, knows the difference between a muley and a whitetail, and talks about fly patterns is a bit of a misnomer in the big city. But the outdoors have played a major role in helping me parent my daughter.
Recently, her affinity for art has made its way to the fly tying vise. We’ve been spending evenings discussing fly patterns, colors, and fly material terminology while chasing sunfish at the local pond. I woke up one morning to see her sitting at the vise tying a bright yellow woolly bugger, which she proudly gave to me over breakfast. After she pulled in a very nice bluegill last week, talk turned to developing a fly that mimicked a cricket. When I told her dad’s trout arsenal already included a couple cricket patterns, she spouted off that she wanted to develop her own pattern, and name it. Fast forward to last night when we spent an hour or so at the vise. With some chenille, foam, rubber legs, and a hook she developed her very own cricket. No pattern, no book, no youtube video, just her imagination and a little bit of guidance from dad. After a few whip finishes we tied it onto her line, threw our rods in the truck, and hit the pond. I had tied the same pattern, and we both pulled in fish on the first cast. Her second cast proved to be just as successful, and the look on her face told the story. She outfished dad with the fly she developed and tied herself. I'm not sure who was more proud, but the ride home was filled with excitement.
The outdoors, once a place for men, are becoming a place where girls and women can roam too. No longer are waders only made for men, although, after reading the facebook post of a friend who is an outdoor author and fisherwoman, we haven’t totally balanced the field when it comes to gear. But knowing that my daughter is growing up in a world where she can tie her own fly, pick a rod made for her, put on waders and gear made for her, and then go outfish the guys on the river gives me some satisfaction. The outdoors have given her a better sense of self, have shown her what she is capable of, and given her the self-esteem that will guide her through life’s journey. She’s come to realize there really isn’t much she can’t do. From shooting a bow to climbing 5.10 routes, to tying a fly and shooting her .22 with accuracy, to saddling a horse and baiting her own hook, she has learned that doing things yourself comes with some satisfaction. When she exclaimed that she was going to start her own fly tying business I stopped myself before blurting out “honey there are hundreds of fly tiers on the internet”, and instead said, “that sounds like a great idea honey. Let’s think of a name and get tying”. The time we’ve spent at the vise has been the best I’ve had in months, and it reminds me of what is most important in this life. So fathers, husbands, brothers, and uncles, it’s time to use the outdoors to solidify the relationships with the ladies in our lives. Sure we’ll help build self-esteem and encourage them to be adventurous along the way, but I’m willing to bet we’ll get far more out of the deal. I certainly have, all thanks to my Peanut.
As a father I’ve noticed that females like the Kardashians, Miley Cyrus, and the Wives of Beverly Hills tend to garner a fair amount of attention. Attention that I consider to be unwarranted and based on no real accomplishment. So, in a world where a nearly nude Kim Kardashian makes the news and headlines around the internet, how can I ensure that my daughters have enough self-respect, self-confidence, and self-esteem to follow their aspirations, which are more than like, follows, and retweets? As an outdoorsman I’ve noticed that increasingly there is a propensity to see women in the field, women specific gear at the store, women with massive trout, women paddling drift boats, and camo adorned women on social media. This month’s Field and Stream, who usually has male enhancement ads for its nearly all male readership, even pays tribute “gamechangers” as they call them. More aptly their cover story is focused on “11 outdoorswomen who are transforming the face of hunting and fishing”. As I read the magazine it dawned on me that my concerns for my daughters and their self-images have answers that are found in the outdoors.
My 10 year old daughter loves art. She draws very well, colors and doodles on nearly every piece of paper in the house, and frequently is making something out of yarn, fabric, paper, or any number of other consumables. She also is timid. I’ve been working with her over the years to build a core self-esteem, and one of the founding principles of that is she can do anything she puts her mind to. By anything I mean she can shoot a gun, she can cast a fly, beat her male classmates at one on one, and can discover new things under a microscope. See, as a conservationist, environmental scientist, has been athlete, and outdoorsman my offerings as a father are mainly based on those areas of “expertise”. Teaching those things to my son is second nature, and accepted by society as normal. After all, a boy spitting, carrying a knife, and talking about shooting a quail is generally accepted, even in the city slicker haven in which we currently live. Having a daughter who wears baseball hats, carries a fishing rod, knows the difference between a muley and a whitetail, and talks about fly patterns is a bit of a misnomer in the big city. But the outdoors have played a major role in helping me parent my daughter.
Recently, her affinity for art has made its way to the fly tying vise. We’ve been spending evenings discussing fly patterns, colors, and fly material terminology while chasing sunfish at the local pond. I woke up one morning to see her sitting at the vise tying a bright yellow woolly bugger, which she proudly gave to me over breakfast. After she pulled in a very nice bluegill last week, talk turned to developing a fly that mimicked a cricket. When I told her dad’s trout arsenal already included a couple cricket patterns, she spouted off that she wanted to develop her own pattern, and name it. Fast forward to last night when we spent an hour or so at the vise. With some chenille, foam, rubber legs, and a hook she developed her very own cricket. No pattern, no book, no youtube video, just her imagination and a little bit of guidance from dad. After a few whip finishes we tied it onto her line, threw our rods in the truck, and hit the pond. I had tied the same pattern, and we both pulled in fish on the first cast. Her second cast proved to be just as successful, and the look on her face told the story. She outfished dad with the fly she developed and tied herself. I'm not sure who was more proud, but the ride home was filled with excitement.
The outdoors, once a place for men, are becoming a place where girls and women can roam too. No longer are waders only made for men, although, after reading the facebook post of a friend who is an outdoor author and fisherwoman, we haven’t totally balanced the field when it comes to gear. But knowing that my daughter is growing up in a world where she can tie her own fly, pick a rod made for her, put on waders and gear made for her, and then go outfish the guys on the river gives me some satisfaction. The outdoors have given her a better sense of self, have shown her what she is capable of, and given her the self-esteem that will guide her through life’s journey. She’s come to realize there really isn’t much she can’t do. From shooting a bow to climbing 5.10 routes, to tying a fly and shooting her .22 with accuracy, to saddling a horse and baiting her own hook, she has learned that doing things yourself comes with some satisfaction. When she exclaimed that she was going to start her own fly tying business I stopped myself before blurting out “honey there are hundreds of fly tiers on the internet”, and instead said, “that sounds like a great idea honey. Let’s think of a name and get tying”. The time we’ve spent at the vise has been the best I’ve had in months, and it reminds me of what is most important in this life. So fathers, husbands, brothers, and uncles, it’s time to use the outdoors to solidify the relationships with the ladies in our lives. Sure we’ll help build self-esteem and encourage them to be adventurous along the way, but I’m willing to bet we’ll get far more out of the deal. I certainly have, all thanks to my Peanut.